She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
