Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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