Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
