listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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