How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
These tits shall not be calmed
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
