so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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