Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
