"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
