the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
