but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
