and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Boobs are out for the taking
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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