You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
