My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
