I would go down on you faster than GM stock
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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