I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
