How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well I just put wine in my tea
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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