The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
