Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
