Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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