The maid of honor just puked.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
