So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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