but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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