She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
