I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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