I can text with my tongue
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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