I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
