I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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