You made me cry and you don't even care
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
