but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
