she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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