currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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