period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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