so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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