I have demons in me.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
