let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
