dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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