Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
