I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
