In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
