3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
