Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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