the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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