My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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