I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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