it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
