You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
