Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
