Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
