I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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