you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
