theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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