Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
