Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
