In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
